Im half an hour into writing my report for my SS project and I am stuck, again. It is funny, come to think about it, how I have such an affinity with India. I took Tamil last semester (somehow, the last resort that earned me decent enough marks) and now, South Asian studies. 2000 words more to go with ideas which are not concrete and solidified yet... One more week to submission.
Today marks one of those days in the school semester where fatigue drains me so much that Im disconcerted. Project deadlines are piling up, coupled with a lacking knowledge about the subject in hand that requires additional work, really does instill certain degree of stress in me. But, some said that stress is good to drive us towards our goals, isn't it? Sometimes, I wonder if I was too sanguine in the past few weeks, taking school at ease that now I feel overwhelmed. Miraculously, as I deconstruct my muddled thoughts in this little space while listening to praise and worship songs , I feel much better, as if I am reminded of how much I have forgotten to rely on Him, taking everything on my own stride, by my own strength. My schedule might be packed, things look uncertain for certain assignments, but remember Mich, "Phillipians 4:8 - to think about things that are true and positive in short", don't let this rob you off your joy but use it to bring glory to His name.
Things do feel different too, without you around J (I know at some point in time, you will be reading this). I guess I am most vulnerable at the state where I am stressed and tired, where I would be needy for care and concern. How convenient when you're near, where a hug will melt all the worries away for that split seconds. But, things are different for now, I gotta be independent again, but Im glad your ears that listen and prayers that move are consistently present and made. Be back soon, for greater things await us in the future.
On the other hand, I just submitted my passport for the Canadian visa. *jumps for joy. Something that I really look forward to, something that will keep me threading through these 4 weeks of Semester 3 and 3 weeks of exam. I thank God for my family who allowed me, despite their concerns about the situation whereby I'm travelling merely just with J, I sincerely do hope they will eventually feel at peace with their decision.
Ciao, back to work.
